Fr. Wilfredo Samson, SJ
Pitik-bulag
One of my personal pains in counseling and spiritual direction is to hear the woes and regrets of parents with regard to their children who turned into “little monsters.”
Why do we have these little monsters nowadays? This consumerist society in a high-tech era has a big influence on our youth’s behavior. But we need to accept also their parents’ contribution to this very disappointing behavior of our young people today.
Let’s blame ourselves too. We are not aggressive and hands-on enough in guiding and forming our children to acquire good and Godly values. We are too lax in disciplining them, too busy with accumulating wealth, and too concerned with things of less importance. Thus, we have mishandled our children’s formation and have ended up loving them the wrong way.
After listening to the litany of woes of our youth and our parents against each other, I came up with seven ways on how to make monsters out of our children – SUCCESSFULLY.
1. CAREER FIRST. Spend more time with your career or work and less time with your family. Convince your children that your work is a necessary sacrifice that you need to do – for their bright future.
2. BE A BUSY PARENT. Spend less quality time with your children. Don’t bother to listen to them. Show no interest to their irrelevant stories, opinions, complaints, and questions. Always tell them you’re tired from your work. But make a promise – next time when you’re not busy anymore, you will spare some time with them.
3. BRIBE THEM. To lessen your guilt for not spending quality time with your children, give them expensive gifts, or anything they want. Don’t entertain the idea that this is a form of bribery. Convince yourself that giving what they want is a form of love.
4. BE A GENIE. After working like hell in your office, you deserve a quiet and peaceful home. Without any question, give to your children anything they want. It is better to spare yourself from their tantrums, howling, and shouting.
5. BE MERCIFUL. You don’t want your children to experience pain and hardship in life. You have suffered a lot when you were young. Therefore, spare them from pain, sweat, and dirty work. Give them all the pleasures of life. Never let them do any house chores. Let them feel that life is a bed of roses, and anything unpleasant and uncomfortable must be avoided.
5. GOLD IS BEAUTIFUL. Teach them that victory is everything in this world. They should do anything and everything to be the number one. Second placers are for losers and chickens.
6. SET THEM FREE. Give them total freedom. Never correct them when they misbehave or commit a mistake. It’s too tiring to correct your children always. Anyway, they are not listening to you. Anyway, it’s their life.
7. NEVER TALK ABOUT GOD. Any topic about God is a subject too cheesy for family conversations. Too boring and preachy for consideration. Never discuss anything about God, nor our responsibility to help the needy, nor share your faith. These topics are reserved for priests, catechists, and religion teachers. It’s not your job.
Do these seven easy ways. I guarantee their effectiveness. On the other hand, if you want to tame your little monsters, and reclaim their innate goodness … just do the opposite.
Source: CBCP News
