SPEAKING OF HEALING

SPEAKING OF HEALING, it is not a source of shame to admit the areas of your life where you walked wounded. There were ample portions of my past that, unable to reconcile with people who persecuted my person because they could not come to terms with the difference of my opinion, I turned to God because His creations became difficult to accept, handle or ignore; He knew they were simply set aside to be accepted later. It gave me immense relief, especially, when even my family misunderstood me and decided a parting of ways was necessary. Because I was starting to heal at that time, I accepted their resolution with serenity and exited decently and quietly, a trait I learned from Mary. In isolation, however, and in spite of my Holy Family keeping me company, I apologized to God immensely for the sadness that still visited me and appealed to Him to get the painful incident off my chest. And, thankfully, the letting go did not fester. Also, mercifully, on the heels of my remorse, influenza paid me a visit, lingered, the bad news took wings, reached my family and they agreed to take me back. I was delirious with the sudden turn of events and was still weak to protest I was just grateful what happened happened. This was on July 19. My healing was slow and sure, the kind God allows because He sees your heart serious and sincere in the expression of thanksgiving, His miracles, after all, in accordance with worth. As my strength gradually returned, I continued to shed myself of my past grouchiness and exerted an effort to be agreeable, pleasant and continually silent. I ignored irritants that proved to be acceptable to a heart that has come to terms with its hardness before and is now open to reconciling with a present that promised good things can be better.

My Coop Family, supportive during my exile, still stood by me up until my resignation, a decision I arrived at in consultation with my family. The merits of that agreement were reinforced by the stricter protocol involving my senior citizen lot and the practicality of choosing only one Coop to serve at my age and recuperating stage. It was a no-brainer that I chose the Union of (Catholic) Church-based Cooperatives (UCC), submitting simultaneously my resignation letter to Fides Multi-purpose Cooperative.

While gradually picking up my sluggish bones, I received a message from Sis Irene, BEC Coordinator for BF Homes, inviting me back to the group if I were up to it and given my energy for the same. It was an offer I could not refuse. During this renewal of sorts, the Parousia Pilgrimage was introduced by Australian Charbel Raish and his team of evangelizers to the Philippines and 200 other countries. I could not complain that my malfunctioning ipad couldn’t catch the daily reflections of renowned speakers before they pray the rosary because the followers of the pilgrimage would post on fb some of the videos which I avidly watched. Notable of them is Dr. Scott Hahn, a converted Protestant whose pronouncements on Mary are outstanding and reinforce one’s faith. Consider Christ’s choosing her for her sinlessness to be His carrier. Without her, He could not have dwelt among us; the world could not have been redeemed. I honor her so in imitation of Him.

Outside of our Thursday virtual bible-sharing, I’ve had spiritual exchanges with a kindred pilgrim, Ate Myla (a doctor by profession), who is keen on finding out whence does a person derive his deep relationship with God. She introduced me to the prodigalfather.com’s 40-day retreat and gave me three books on spirituality. I immediately started on her first recommendation, “The Confessions,” by St. Augustine, because, recalling a PREX talk that briefly touched on his life, 1,623 years ago, it hit a nerve in me. Perusing the first few pages of the saint’s memoirs (although the French memoire is more apt to describe his treatise), I was astounded to discover the interpretation of his infancy. What makes his memoire-filled memoir all the more magnificent is that, from beginning to end, he is in dialogue with God, and his direct prayer is practical, matter-of-fact and from-the heart. Translated from the handwritten Latin text by Maria Boulding, O.S.B., the account is awesomely autobiographical.

Then came an invitation to a 33-session Totus Tuus Journey (TTJ) reconsecration from AMQAH National Director Fr. Fed (backed up by my fellow lay Montfortian associates). My isolated lanai assumed an outdoor refuge. Inhabited by my lonesome, my monobloc round table transformed into a vessel where I mount my ipad and through which we virtually meet at appointed nights to share the wisdom of Monfort. It is also here where I video conference with the board officers and members of UCC and where, nightly, a firefly circles the breadth of my sanctuary. It moves me highly when it hovers by the altar and blinks for a longer while before proceeding on its flight. To return another night. And then sleep takes over. Amen.