Vincentian Priest Talks About Joy “JOY: THE ESSENCE of it All” was the title of Fr. Peter Solis’ Recollection Talk. He was the second Vincentian to set foot on the Holy Spirit Church, the first being the revered Rev. Fr. Danny Pilario, many years ago. I pray, nay, suspect, he won’t be the last. Fr. Peter’s preamble said he was assigned to talk on Advent along the lines of “praying in hope” or “serving in faith” but he deviated a bit while still retaining the two themes. He personally loves Advent, but the problem here in the Philippines is that “September pa lang, lumilitaw na si Jose Mari Chan kaya, Pasko na kaagad from September 1 to December to even hanggang January kaya, we don’t experience the Advent in its beauty and meaning as a beginning of the Liturgical year” because it is relegated to a place inferior to Yuletide. “Naikumpara ko yan because I stayed in Taiwan as a missionary for the first 10 years of my priesthood” and in the US for two years of further study. There, he enjoyed celebrating the season’s sense of incompleteness, of looking forward to its fulfillment. Which augured well when he proceeded to St. Vincent School of Theology, where he was assigned to seminaries as a formator. But he learned to love the Advent season abroad, the season of quiet, the inchoateness, the incompleteness in our life, the waiting, the completion, for the place and space in our sins. This is what he wants us to remember about Advent. It was what I instantly like about his talk.
He said he used to hate (chuckle) Christmas (I resonated to this; I prefer Easter to Yuletide). His father died when he was 12, the 8th child among 10 kids. This was Christmas 1976, they were a big and poor family and so broke he was (the errand boy) sent to buy or make utang 2 dozens of Francis bread and Liberty condensada (chuckle) to make 2 sandwiches each for the family’s noche buena. (I know, firsthand, how to be poor is why I felt where he came from.) It was his father’s last Christmas. But because of this experience, he now appreciates every little thing. He chuckled after mentioning condensada, because it was not keso de bola, fruitcake, ubas, mansanas, o fruit salad (in his imagination) kaya parang nalulungkot siya pag malapit na ang Pasko. You’d be sad, too, if you have to celebrate the season over condensed milk sandwich, even if each of the family member had a double serving.
But because of that experience, he now appreciates every little thing he has. He knows BF is rich (mayayaman kayo, chuckle), but joy is not in things but in us. Had he known this then, he would have appreciated their Liberty condensada noche buena. Then he showed two drawings of families of then (1980) and now, the past showing the family praying before they eat, the present showing the same family focused not on the food but on their cell phones: grace versus gadget. I rued the fact that that picture is also repeated many times in many households, even in ours, in fact, although it is rare now that we are together in every meal.
He snatched my memory back to the present when he asked if the 2024 family is happy. Are they happier than his family then. I could not answer. Are people with so much food and stuff on their table happy? Ask yourselves, he said, are you happy with the millions you have in your bank account? With so much food in your fridge? A very nice house? With practically everything that you need in your life? I still could not answer.
He said learning what it is that makes us happy is the task of a lifetime, Had he known this then, he would have had a better appreciation for their Condensada Noche Buena.
We scatter ourselves, he said, looking for pleasure that satisfies us. What do we do? We drink more, gamble more, and so lose more in the casino. Or we eat more until eating itself becomes a problem, as we play more or buy more things, clothes, until all that joy runs out, then pleasure doesn’t work anymore. This usually happens, when we have so much in our lives, when our lives have improved, with all the gadgets in our possession, the problem is there’s just no end to this craving for more and more and more of whatever we may happen to have.
A Shaman was asked what is poison? Sabi niya, anything beyond what we need is poison, be it power, praise, food, ego, ambition, vanity, fear, anger, or whatever. Anything beyond what we need is poison. Marami sa atin, we have so much already, even if the needs are already met and answered, we still continue to entertain a lot of more wants, and more wants, and more and more wants. Yun ang problema. We have too much poison poisoning our lives, and our families. And it’s not guaranteeing or providing us the joy that we’re supposed to be having, working for, or looking for.
Psychology calls this addiction. Not just smoking, drinking, eating, even shopping is an addiction. Pornography is an addiction. Dahil sa mga cell phone, pornography is so accessible. So many of our people, not just the young, even among priests and sisters, among religious people, pornography is obtained because it has invaded the most private place in our life, the privacy of our bedroom. You can access this on your cell phone if you so like. Liking more and more just has no end to this desiring and wanting more and more.
Pag hindi na siya nakakapagbigay ng pleasure, we end up becoming depressed. And daming depressed na tao ngayon despite the fact they already have so much. Because of this poison that we now have so much. There are only so many things that we can use and still enjoy using. Before long, it becomes clear that, like in Kenya, those who have cattle have care. Pag may mga baka ka, marami kang aatupagin, grass to feed, at iba pang alalahanin. Understandable because the beasts need taking care of, to be useful to men, yet they become a burden in the long run.
Jesus was very particular about possessions. Where your possessions are, there your heart will be. Kung nasaan ang milyones mo, nandoon ang puso mo. Yung mayayamang tao are the most insecure in the world. That tomorrow, the stock market will go down and they will be losing millions or billions. Yan din ang problema sa possessions. When we have too much possessions, our ego and our life are rooted in them, our life now is centered on those possessions then we end up worshipping ourselves in that altar and take away God in the process of worshipping ourselves.
Kaya yung mga taong napaka-self-ish, punong-puno ng sarili nila, they could be the saddest persons in the world. The joy and happiness we seek do not come from spending life in an orgy of self-love or self-satisfaction and self-aggrandizement. Joy will not be found in them but in living righteously. Joy, in the deep-down awareness of what it means to live well, to live productively, righteously, is laid out in self-giving, simplicity, being center of the other person. The more centered we are on the self, the less we have the capacity to make us happy. When we make us our goals, we forget God; the self-ish are the saddest because they have not learned other-centeredness.
He illustrated the three phases of man: Young, Adult, and Old, where the young have all the time and energy but no money; the Adult have all the money and energy but no time; and the Old who have all the time and the money but no energy.
He said he’s been to Japan and was impressed with the Japanese society. In Japan, the people are very respectful, marunong makipag-kapwa, very honest. They’re Godly people dahil napaka-honest nila! Their people’s goals have a threefold consideration: 1. What’s good for the country; 2. What’s still good for the country; and 3. What’s really good for the country. Whereas in the Philippines, it’s not even the Church, but the family, supposedly. But is it really? I heard my pewmate, Ate Becky, murmur money.
Bakit sa Pilipinas, Katoliko pa naman, bakit sobrang dami ng magnanakaw? Kahit mga edukado’t mayaman na, grabe kung magnakaw. Sa gobyerno na lang, matindi. Hindi exempted ang Simbahan dito. It’s just so sad. Katoliko tayo, parang wala tayong natutuhan kay Kristo about honesty, about caring for other people, about centering our life on the other person, about helping, reaching out. Sa Pilipinas, ang consideration ay country, country, country, family, family, family, hindi makaalis sa pamilya. Kaya nga sinabi ni Kristo, who is My mother, who is My sister, who is My neighbor? It is those who do the will of God. Our family should go out of the home and extend farther than the home. Charity starts at home but should go out of the home. Kaya lalong dumarami ang mahihirap dahil ang mayayaman nagnanakaw pa nang husto, dumarami ang addiction nila sa materyal na bagay. That’s the sad story of our life here sa Pilipinas.
The Good News, the great joy, we learn at the end of the liturgical year, is what searching for the Baby is all about. Anong hinahanap ng tatlong hari? They really left everything just to look for the Child Jesus. Because Christ is what life is all about. It’s all about God becoming the Baby. It’s Him where we are searching that matters. Saan ba natin hinahanap ang Batang Kristo? Sa pagkain? Sa pera? Sa yaman? Those are all the wrong places to look for the Child Jesus.
Happiness does not require choice some of the time, happiness requires choice all the time. We have to choose what will bring us closer to God, and farther from Him. It’s always a choice for everything in our life. It requires willing to choose betrween what’s real and living, what is worthless, and what is worthwhile. Pag-uwi nyo mamaya sa mga bahay at kuwarto nyo, tingnan nyo ang mga aparador nyo (chuckle) baka masyadong marami na kayong hindi real, baka worthless na, make them worthwhile, share them away dun sa mga walang damit, walang makain, baka yung iba dyan, expired na dahil sobrang dami, hindi na natin kayang ubusin, out of style na. Alam nyo ang isang personal na ritual na ginagawa ko, towards the end of the year, may naiipon na talaga, kahit tshirts, so make it a personal commitment o ritual. I have too many shirts, perfumes, bigay lang naman yon, kung gusto nyo talagang sumaya sa Paskong ito, share them away.
May kilala akong mayaman talagang pamilya, but what they do every Christmas, naghahanda sila ng maraming bags of goodies, tapos kung Christmas, two nights before, they will bring children sa bahay nila, the poorest in Metro Manila, then share these goodies with them, at nagiging malalim ang kanilang spiritual joy.
Pag nasaktan kayo dahil you decided to detach yourselves maybe not from old things but from some of those things that you know for a fact you don’t really need because you already have a lot, the question that this season of Advent confronts us with is a direct one: What does the life of Jesus mean for us? How is this life affecting our own? Are we ourselves living both the promise and the potential? Needing each other has nothing to do with what is outside of us but what we have found to see with our souls. Kaya nga nang sinabi ni Kristo, “The kingdom of God is not outside, the Kingdom of God is within, yung pag nagkaroon na tayo ng mata ng pananampalataya, we will be able to see things clearly and rightly. Kapag wala po tayong eyes of faith, we are still blind and there we will remain in our blindness. Sinabi ito ng Little Prince, di ba? It is only with the heart that we can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. Ang ganda-ganda sa Tagalog. At this he Tagalized the lesson he learned from “The Little Prince.” What is essential is invisible to the eye. Sa pamamagitan lamang ng puso tunay na makikita natin ang pinakapuso ng mga bagay-bagay. Hindi kita ng mata ang pinakapuso ng mga bagay. To begin to see with our heart, to begin to see with our soul, to begin to see with eyes of faith, it’s only with the heart that we can see rightly.
While he was delivering his mild yet moving talk, I noticed the austerity of his movement (one step back and another forth) compared to the generosity of his message (how can there be a more telling sharing than one’s poverty).
Joy, he said, is all about choice all the time. The shedding of self. Like, when at year’s end he would stare at the clothes he has accumulated and prepare them for distribution to his less fortunate constituents. He enjoined us to do the same with our surplus, to share them away.
The good news of great joy begins with the search of the baby. And the magnificent marvel of finding Him. Kaya I love Advent, he declared, and I believed him. And agreed that it is such a spiritual season. Ang christmas kasi masyado nang na-identify na consumerist kaya nawawala na yung spirit at nawawala na rin ang totoong Advent sa Pilipinas, nakakapanghinayang.
Remember that meaning has nothing to do with what’s outside of us. Happiness is not about self-satisfaction, it is rather about the joy that comes with a sense of purpose. Life and joy, success and happiness, are about otherness. Tungkol talaga yon sa tumingin sa kapwa, makialam sa kapwa natin, buksan ang mga mata natin.
He said he loved the picture of a woman, kasama niya ang husband niya, hindi niya kilala, disoriented siya, pero yung husband committed to her kaya sinasamahan siya, dadalhin kung saan, sa park, pauwi sa bahay, a beautiful picture, living with a sense of purpose. That where joy comes, where we live our life, it’s not about needs, ourselves, not about life’s convenience, it’s about how to make the life of others a bit more convenient. Kung convenient na ang buhay natin, isipin natin ang iba, let’s make their life a little bit convenient as well. At the end of the day, it’s about being sensitive and concerned about the needs and the situation of the neighbor.
He showed the pic of his cute pamangkin. The essential of happiness, according to Allan Chalmers, is having something to do, something, to love, to hope for. At the beginning of the year, the Church presents a model, a Child Jesus who lives only to do the will of God, who opens His arms to love the entire world, who lives in hope in the coming of the reign of God by giving His life to bring it about.
At the very outset of the year, the Church has given it the model of how to be happy. Alam ng Diyos na ang tunay na nagdudulot ng tuwa ay hindi talaga pera, yaman o materyal na posesyon, kaya ang modelo ay sanggol, not a superman, not a millionaire. Ano itong Child na ito? That’s the model of how it is to be happy. Yung bata kasi, wala siyang maraming preokupasyon o wants, needs lang. Pag pinadede ng nanay, okey, natulog siya after nakadede, okey na yon, may lampin na babalot sa kanya para hindi siya ginawin, okey. Di ba ang baby walang maraming gusto, mga jewelry, mga kung anu-ano, e ang baby, ang daming nilalagay ng magulang na kung anu-ano kaya hindi na mukhang baby (chuckle). So let’s go back to the simplicity, to the barrenness that we see in the life of a child, of a baby, simple lang ang buhay, huwag nating gawing kumplikado o masyadong punung-puno ng walang bagay.
How to be happy is the reason why God became a baby, to teach us where happiness lies, where true joy can be found. Not in so many things, but to have – simply – our needs met and fulfilled. The pourpose of the liturgical year, Advent, is clear, not to bind a human being to a life with neurotic obligation and miserable self-denial for its own sake. Para kayo magkaroon ng tiwala sa buhay, the year is meant to show us flesh and blood, what it really takes to be happy. If that does not happen for us, it is only because we have yet to understand that seeing the baby, we have yet to get the message that, indeed, joy is not in things, it is in us. So parang ang tuwa ay nasa puso natin is really to be able to find where this Child is. So saan yon? Outside our homes, maybe outside our communities, that’s when the Child can be found. And when we decide to take care of that Child, then we are guaranteed that we know the true joy of not only this Christmas but also for the rest of our life, if we keep doing, if we keep taking care of this Child, that can be found usually outside of our homes, our gates, our communities.
Of course mahirap ito, hindi pa natin masisigurado, but when we get used to it, then we would want more and more of it, we’d want to do more of it, tapos, unti-unti rin, nasi-simplify yung buhay natin, kapag we keep doing this, it becomes a part of it, a part of your life and, without your being conscious about it, doon nyo mararanasan, madarama, sa una pa lang, may tuwa, galak, kapag ang mata nyo ay nakatuon sa kapwa, laluna yung alam mong walang damit, pagkain, bahay.
So that’s why the poor will always be with us because they will be the constant reminder of that Child who is God become one of us, become a baby, and that is the source of joy, the first Christmas that will also be the source of your joy and our joy that is why we celebrate Christmas. When we know for a fact meron tayong itinabi para sa kapwa natin, para sa kapwa ninyo, sa mahihirap ninyo, meron kayong ipinapadala, hindi yung surplus ninyo, extra lang, kaya pwedeng maging Christmas araw-araw, if this has become a part of our daily life.
Alam kong marami kayong gustong gawin sa parish community for the poor this Christmas and I’m happy to hear about that. That’s where the real challenge is. Sabi nga ni Mother Teresa: “It is not true love if what we do does not really hurt.” If we focus on the Christ Child at the very beginning of the Liturgical year, and we do not have the spiritual vision to see meaning there, and to develop it within ourselves, there is nothing else that will ever be able to supply it for us.
Kaya yung picture ng tatay na nasa gitna ng lawa ng dagat, going around and around, hindi alam ang direksyon, kapag hindi pa rin natin nakita at wala tayong spiritual vision to find and locate where the Child is, yun lang talaga ang sagot at lugar kung saan natin matatagpuan ang tuwa at galak na hinahanap-hanap ng puso natin.
From Fr. Popo’s pregnant-with-diaper-laden insights, I was able to imagine the word selfish sounding like service. Because from being self-centered, those of us who listened to his profound lessons can be other-oriented, and will be able to provide authentic service as a response to God’s call. Then, if we save the father from getting lost in the sea and return to his family, the Child just might be there. Then, too, our timely saving him just might become, not only for him but for us as well, grace. Therefore, shared.
Amen.
2014 Copyright. Claretian Communications Foundation Inc
